Whether you’re married, dating, in a common-law relationship, or working it all “International” like Pitbull ft. Chris Brown, it’s not easy to keep the “love” alive. If you want to maintain that spark, and make your amorous relationships last, I’m going to share with you the one key thing you need for success.
WARNING: This post contains content that I find disturbing and gives me the squirms.
The most important thing I can tell you about my travel experiences as a self-diagnosed, semi-professional germophobe is that I still travel. This is an impressive feat of courage considering what I find disgusting about taxis, airports, airplanes, hotels, restaurants, conference centres, other random people and washrooms of any kind that are not attended to by my also-clean-freak wife. Before you nod knowingly and shrug wondering what’s so different for me from how you feel about this very same list of geogermal entities, let me ask you this- have you ever left a note for the maid at your hotel that says: “This room is cleaner than it was when I arrived. Take the day off. –Adam”.
I’m happy to say that I have only a few “uncomfortable” dating moments filed away in my portfolio of romance. That includes the “non-starters” where it just wasn’t going anywhere for anyone, which were somewhat awkward. Slightly more unpleasant were the dates where it was painfully obvious (to me and the waiter) that it was my companion who was feverishly scrambling for an exit strategy.
I’ve had a few fights in my life. Literally. As in, “Few: not many, but more than one.” Three actually. Make that two and a half. The full-fledged fisticuffs were both in Grade 5. The half-clash was in 1st-year University, drunk on a bus. All 2.5 were with my best friends. Every year in the days leading up to the Super Bowl, I think of these fights. Not because of the gruelling battles that are fought on the NFL’s sacred stage between armour-clad, compression-shorts-wearing gridiron gladiators. But, instead, because it was after the Super Bowl XL broadcast in 2006 that I watched my first pay-per-view UFC event. It was fighting like I had never seen before, and, clearly, never came close to experiencing. I was a changed man.
There’s an unscientifically proven fact in the comedy business that the toughest crowds to perform stand-up in front of are “industry crowds”; more specifically- a room full of other comedians. There is, however, a small percentage of the comic population who thrive in this environment. They are known as “comic’s comics” and they are universally adored by their contemporaries. At the same time, because they’re often too “insider” or “alternative”, it’s not uncommon for them to struggle in front of “regular” crowds. But, of that small sub-set of the stand-up comic population as a whole, there’s an even smaller percentage of comic’s comics who are also hilarious in the eyes of mainstream audiences. Basically, out of every 10,000 comedians, there’s Louis C.K..
Aaaaand, we’re back for more trivia fun! Join me on my Twitter (@adamgrowe) this Tuesday at 9PMEST for another exciting round of #agrowetrivia! Come one, come all, and test your skills to win a number of cash prizes! In addition to winning cash for answering the most questions correctly, I’ll also be giving away cash prizes for the most creative answers. And there’s even MORE ways to win! This is basically powerball lottery folks….with realistic odds.
You’d likely get a visit from social services if you called in WWE’s John Cena to give your teenagers some instruction on how to put their attitudes in check. Then again, maybe if he were to just show up at the front door, and not actually deploy his signature wrestling move… Hmmm. If that wasn’t already a parenting strategy you had considered- you’re welcome.
In anticipation of my online Quiz Show (coming soon!), I’m hosting my very own trivia night on Twitter. Follow @adamgrowe if you think you know your stuff, then play to win cash prizes and trivia glory!
In terms of your chances of winning “the” lottery, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning, while drowning, after being attacked by a shark, in an above ground swimming pool, in Iceland. (Or something along those lines).
Comedy = Tragedy + Time / Cosby – Time
I think the math in the above equation comes out to zero. Which is my way of saying too much time has passed leading up to today’s charges against Bill Cosby. But, I’m not a mathematician. I’m a comedian.