Social Media Slave, Slut, Star or Sucker. Which Are You?

Due to shocking new information from reliable sources, I have decided that it’s my civic duty to artificially inflate my social media numbers. You might find this disturbing: I am not getting certain gigs based solely on my lack of social media fans, subscribers, or followers. Trust me, I never expected to make any money as a social media star. But, I also never expected to lose money because of social media. So, I’m going to buy as many bots, trolls, hacks, fakes and posers I can afford. Because you’re worth it.

“Your ability to start the show cold and go from laughs, to a deeply moving story, and back to laughs- genius!”

See what you’d be missing out on if I didn’t turn this bus around? People really have said such things to me after events at which I’ve performed; just last week, in fact. I’m not trying to impress you. I’m trying to impress upon you that after last week’s performance, I had a net increase of two (2) new Facebook Fans. Genius.

AdamHostJFTJ2016V2

Obviously, my social media prowess does not positively correlate with my ability to get an audience of 800 people to go from the joy of laughter, to being on the verge of tears, and back to the haha again in a single ten-minute monologue. Last September, I tried to remedy this problem by launching a strategic campaign to build my online profile organically. I became a total social media slut.

SomeecardsBlog

I started posting promiscuously and even experimented with some new platforms. The only thing I wasn’t “open” to was buying fans, subscribers and followers. I quickly discovered that my generic posts and RTs would often do as well as my original content. Not that I think my social media content is “upworthy” or viral. But, it occurred to me: if I can get the same reach and engagement simply by re-posting ecards, why am I working so hard? My indiscriminate behaviour had resulted in STD, (Social Technology Duress). I had become a social media slave.

“I have been organizing events like these for decades, and you’re one of the best hosts I’ve ever seen.”

I should be giddy about getting such feedback, (which I did, at a second event that I hosted last week). But, in the social media age, it’s worthless; unless you’re leveraging more than my 273 Instagram followers, (womp womp) So, if I don’t take immediate action, “one of the best” will be hosting restaurants instead of conferences.

ONS16AdamV2

I get it: brands want to work with social media stars who have a big fan base so they can market to the specific demographic they’re trying to reach. CTV made just such a move recently when they replaced Canada AM with, “Your Morning”. They want to “disrupt the model” of morning Talk TV, create “shareable moments” and offer a “contemporary twist”.

So, it shouldn’t surprise you that the new co-hosts each have 50K+ Twitter followers, while the outgoing co-hosts are both under 16K. On Facebook, the new co-hosts have a combined 11.5K Likes, while the outgoing: 6.6K Friends. New co-hosts = 57.7K Instagram followers; former co-hosts = 1,084.

YourMorning

But, when someone books me to host their Gala, or do my Quiz Show at their company Town Hall, they’re not looking for me to “disrupt the model”, or even sell tickets for that matter. In searching for a host or entertainer for the events I’m in the running for, social media metrics are just eye candy; a popularity contest. That’s why I’ve decided to be a social media sucker and buy fans, subscribers and followers with the ferocity of a Boxing Day electronics shopper.

“You were so knowledgeable that even our senior management team forgot you don’t actually work for our company.”

If I continue to deliver this kind of performance to my clients, do you think they care if my fanbase is cluttered with zombie accounts? More to the point, if I don’t populate my online profile with the Walking Dead, I’m a dead man walking. So, I’d be crazy NOT to be a social media sucker! “In this life, you kill or you die, or you die and you kill.”

The Walking Dead - Season 2, Episode 1 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC - DSC_9915crgn_R_Ph Gene Page

Social media experts strongly caution against buying fans, subscribers and followers. One reason is because people can find out that you do. I used one of the “faker” tools to audit my Twitter account and that of two of my competitors. They’re both fantastic people and talented (working) hosts, and here’s where I get real b*tchy: one had 31% fake Twitter Followers, the other, 45% fakes. As of June 8, 2016, I have 5% fake Followers. I can’t explain why I even have 5%, but I plan to balloon that to north of 60% as soon as possible.

My largest reach from a single Tweet: 

21,455 Impressions, 1,080 Engagements = 3 New Followers

I was a keynote speaker at the 2014 Queen’s Media and Journalism Conference, in Kingston, ON. I stayed after my keynote to hear Dan Tisch speak about social media from a PR perspective. I listened with interest as he described the three types of media that we have access to in building our personal brands: “Paid, Earned and Owned”. In other words, you can buy ads, become part of the news, or take control by owning your brand in the new age of social media. How very excited was I about the opportunities, freedom and creativity! In 2016, I wonder if “owned” actually refers to us being owned by the algorithms and obligations of social media. I can’t help but remember the classic Twilight Zone episode, “To Serve Man”. SPOILER ALERT: It’s a recipe book! Ruuuuuuuuuuun!

TwilightZoneServeMan

I don’t play any musical instruments, and I can’t sing; I’ve never authored a book, or been to outer space; I haven’t won a Nobel Prize, or Olympic medal; I’ve never saved someone’s life and I hope to never be on tour speaking about overcoming a personal tragedy. There’s a reason Simon Cowell doesn’t produce a show called, “America’s Next Top Emcee”. But, hosting an event, making people laugh, telling poignant stories and seamlessly moving between the two is my gift. I simply can’t allow this “best ever” talent to be squandered merely because I’m too stubborn to buy fake fans.

2 thoughts on Social Media Slave, Slut, Star or Sucker. Which Are You?

  1. Love you Adam…I admire your sticktoitness. Such an underrated entertainer. Enjoy what you’re doing and I believe, someday soon, big fame will come and all of us little people who have followed you from the beginning, will be a distant memory. I sure hope so :)

    1. Thanks Heather! I appreciate the support! Sorry to be so long in responding. I only just checked comments on my site today! (Not going to go anywhere if I’m not at least on top of my own social media! Geesh!). Anyway, I’m a fan of yours as well! Hope to see you soon. Cheers, Adam

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