It’s not unusual for me to have to host an awards gala when dinner is being plated. If you’ve taken the mic at such an event, you might know that this is often not even the biggest challenge when it comes to winning over an audience.
You likely have no context for the kind of savage pain the shingles virus can cause. Yes, I’m even talking about you- mothers of babies and dudes who don’t drink enough cranberry juice. Childbirth and kidney stones are a walk in the park compared to shingles. I’ll prove it below with my horror story, which contains (WARNING) disturbing language and imagery.
When I performed years ago in Los Angeles at CBS Television City, one of the most memorable moments of the experience for me was being within arm’s length of the big wheel from the “Price Is Right”! To get to the stage where I was going to be performing stand-up comedy, we had to walk past the backstage area where they stored TPIR sets and games. I was about to be entertaining a live U.S. audience of millions and I was more intrigued by the whereabouts of the “Plinko” board.
You may not have the same fascination with game shows as I, but you absolutely have an “Inner Game Show Host” and it’s something that you shouldn’t ignore.
Due to shocking new information from reliable sources, I have decided that it’s my civic duty to artificially inflate my social media numbers. You might find this disturbing: I am not getting certain gigs based solely on my lack of social media fans, subscribers, or followers. Trust me, I never expected to make any money as a social media star. But, I also never expected to lose money because of social media. So, I’m going to buy as many bots, trolls, hacks, fakes and posers I can afford. Because you’re worth it.
It’s happened before and it will happen again: someone asks me, “You’re a comedian. Why do they even have ‘All-Girl’ comedy shows anyway?”. My knee-jerk response is, “why do you even care?”. But, I know better. My short answer is: because they enhance your experience of comedy, even if you never attend one. Since you asked, the longer answer is: the All-Female comedy show model is responsible for such things as the thriving Canadian music scene and could save television in this country. It’s not like there’s a lot of them happening in the first place, but they should be mandatory.
For Cash Cab fans and contestants alike, people are thrilled when they get a chance to meet me… so they can ask about the lights inside the cab. The disco-floor-like ceiling panels are, by far, the sexiest part of the show for many people. Fortunately, as a proud “Host”, it wasn’t difficult for me to get used to being upstaged by high tech. That’s why I’m excited to be working with 3DEvolution on 3D tech that’s ahead of the curve and attracting more attention than I ever will in any dimension.
Miss Universe is over, it didn’t end smoothly, but you’re going to be okay.
Whether it was a telepromoter error in the end that lead Steve Harvey to announce the wrong winner at Miss Universe 2015, I can’t tell for sure at this point. I can still make my point either way.
A few years ago, a stand-up comic I know and like made an interesting comment about a situation that I have experienced, and continue to face, with regularity. That situation- people who are organizing fundraising events for charities, or non-profits, ask if I would be prepared to appear at them without pay.